Vikki Wakefield’s first novel walks the tightrope between fate and human agency. Despair is leavened by shards of hope; this is not Young Adult literature that peddles misery or wallows in a nihilistic fug. Mim is one of those resilient protagonists who still wields a degree of control over her life. Even when things are at their bleakest, you know that somehow she will pull herself out of the quagmire, shaken but not irreparably damaged. Like many teenagers who are uncomfortable in their own skins and rebel against the status quo, what Mim wants most of all is to escape. Her collection of annotated, dog-eared Lonely Planet books is a testament to her desire to transcend her fleapit circumstances. Among other things, All I Ever Wanted explores adolescent yearnings and how expectations collide with reality. Mim has a personal manifesto that she strives to live by, though it looks as if she may end up breaking some of these rules by the time her birthday arrives. Her list of self-improvements include: ‘I will finish school, I will not take drugs. I will not get tattoos. I will not drink alcohol. I will not say “fuck” all the time. I will not have sex. I will not be like everyone else. I will only trust myself …’

Unlike her best friend, Tahnee, who believes in living for the present, the only way Mim can survive is by pinning her hopes on the future. The book investigates how she tries to preserve her ideals when everyone else expects her to become another victim of socio-economic disadvantage.

This is a slender novel, and Wakefield’s prose is appropriately lean and sinewy. There is no fussy, extraneous detail, but that does not mean that she is not capable of startling imagery. A heart can blow up like a ‘puffer fish’, a drug dealer has a face ‘like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces have been forced to make them fit’, and Tahnee is like champagne, ‘pale, sweet, little bubbles of nothing, and good fun if you’re in the mood’. Wakefield is adept at describing Mim’s less than salubrious community. There are unsavoury types at every doorstop, whether it is the witchy crone, the slobbery hound from hell (Gargoyle), the wife-beaters and drunkards, or the bare-bummed, rudely gesticulating toddlers. Mim doesn’t believe she belongs in this sea of miscreants, but all is not what it seems. There are secrets and subterfuge ready to cloud her judgement. Like her protagonist, Wakefield plays with the reader’s prejudices. Little by little, the restrictive labels forced on various characters are seen to be products of convenience or carelessness, rather than truth. For instance, the handsome boy Jordan Mullen, with whom Mim has been in love (from afar) for years, proves unworthy of her affections on closer acquaintance, while his sister Kate, the demure ‘girl nerd musician’, has a more rebellious edge than appearances would warrant.

From the first page Wakefield plunges the reader into a raggedy, desperate world when Mim is forced to pick up and deliver a package. Due to an unforeseen hitch, the parcel does not arrive at its destination. Her life, difficult before, becomes more complicated as she tries to retrieve what is hers. All the supporting characters that aid, distract, or resist her efforts are well drawn and Mim herself is an attractive heroine, feisty and resourceful, yet plagued by the usual teenage doubts about self-worth. Instead of wanting to fit in with her peers, she rejects everything about them. Her patronising, scornful attitude affects her relationship with those closest to her, particularly her mother and Tahnee. The first-person narrative is taut and action-driven, with Mim in the driver’s seat, but so sure is she of her way that she often misjudges and takes mental shortcuts when she should take her time to mull things over.

If there is a problem with this novel, it is that Wakefield overcompensates for Mim’s wretched circumstances by an overly optimistic dénouement; the conclusion is garishly bright, as though she had stepped from a tunnel into a fireworks display. It is commendable for the book to end on a note of hope, escape, and growth but the means of expression is excessive and jarring, given the meagreness that previously engulfed Mim. Though the author tries to tie everything up with a neat bow, there are still some loose strings. Despite these quibbles, All I Ever Wanted is a thoughtful and impressive début, and Wakefield a talent to watch.